Anthropology is the close and careful study of humans and their cultures.  My dog is an anthropologist.  He is a keen and constant observer of human activity. His field of specialization, however, is narrow. His studies focus on the culture of one particular human. Me.

My dog conducts his research with much less cross-cultural bias than human anthropologists.  He simply observes and registers our (my) peculiar cultural activities and actions. 

Human anthropologists rarely, if ever, have the opportunity to collect observational data on their subjects continuously 24/7. This is not a limitation for my dog-the-anthropologist. He observes me all the time.  Even when he’s sleeping, he has the ability to awaken in a fraction of a second when anything interesting happens.

My dog’s data collection is not limited to visual data.  He has outstanding abilities to collect information based on smell, hearing, touch and taste.  As part of his research, he collects cultural artifacts.  He routinely dissects these cultural artifacts to gain the most complete and profound insights about them.

His research is applied and functional.  That is, he has developed a comprehensive understanding of my personal culture, and he applies this knowledge in the most practical ways. To give just one small example: Based on his analyses, he knows when I’m going out for a walk with him–in which case, he comes running to join me–versus I’m going out without him–in which case he runs to the couch so he can continue observing me.

The most remarkable aspect of my dog’s anthropological research is that he does this with a perfect disguise.  He’s furry and cute with a waggly tail and he loves belly rubs.  You’d never know that he is, by profession, an anthropologist.